Friday, 19 June 2015

WEEK 16 - Mamas & Papas baby? - eBay baby more like!

I'm a proper bargain hunter me. 

If you want to find me; besides the pub (pre-baby), you will find me browsing the charity shops, scouring the discount racks at T K Maxx, upside down in the bargain bins at New Look or shopping till I'm dropping at B&M. Oh how I love B&M. I could stay in that shop all day. Infact my husband (who literally despises shopping) will always stay in the car in the hope it will speed me up. It doesn't work. 
I sometimes worry that some interfering passer-by will report me for leaving him in the car for such prolonged periods; like they would a dog! However I am a responsible adult and so I always leave the window open an inch or so for him. OK, maybe I shouldn't be tying him to the steering wheel but.....Bless him...!!!

I once took him to a.......wait for it.....CAR BOOT! His favourite day of the week is a sunday. He loves a lie in and then to hit the pub for the day, watching the football, and putting a few losing bets on. He doesn't call it sunday, he has renamed it to 'his-day'. He say's there are seven days in a week. Six of which he can be selfless and a doting husband, and so one day is not much to ask for. Fair enough...
Anyway, you can imagine his excitement when I begged him to go with me on a rainy sunday morning to the car boot. I assured him that it can be great fun and that he might actually enjoy it. 

He didn't. 

He whined all the way there and complained all the way round. I remembered seeing other mums with their kids thinking how well behave they were! 
The experience of me unintentionally DESTROYING 'his-day' was bad enough for the poor fella, but my bargain hunting was just too much for him. He was mortified when I bartered with stall holders over their already mega discounted ex-prized possessions. 
He told me off for asking a lady who was soaking wet standing in the rain if she would accept 50p for the £1 top she was selling. He quickly gave her the £1 and hurried me off to the car. I guess that was a step too far. Apart from the hot dog van he hated the experience. 
Needless to say he hasn't returned with me.

The point of this story is that now we are expected a baby we obviously are going to need a lot of stuff. So last weekend we take a trip to Mamas & Papas to pick out a few things for our little one....and... 

Oh My Lordy Lordy!!!

£200 high chairs - why? Will the baby eat better food? Will it grow up to love sprouts and eat sprout sandwiches every day for its packed lunch? Will it make less mess and not throw up all over it because it knows it's a Mamas & Papas £200 bad boy? I am guessing the baby wont know (or care) how much it costs or where it came from? The little cherub is only interested in getting fed, throwing it up, then shitting it out. All for us to clean up! 

I have to be honest....I hope that's ok? 
I think spending as much money as possible on your baby so that it has the best of everything is just ridiculous. I think there are lots of areas where it's worth it for sure, like comfort and safety, but I do believe that some of these prices are getting silly. 
Of course there are folk who buy certain brands so that it looks really great when people come round to visit, and is why there is a market for it. Some of these brands can name their price and there will always someone willing to pay I???? Oh I'll just to say off!  
I wonder if Mama's & Papa's were to carry out a social experiment giving away (pain free) tattoos for your babies forehead of their logo, how many would do it? Of course nobody! That was a JOKE!

Don't get me wrong the stuff in Mamas & Papas is lovely, but is it really necessary to pay so much for certain things? Typically on my visit I picked up a right bargain (out the bargain bin) that was reduced from £38 to £10!!!! It was a beautiful thick all-in-one winter suit. 
Can't take me anywhere!

But later that hour...

I asked the lovely assistants for some...assistance with the pram set ups. She was super helpful and showed me and the hubby all the mod cons and special attachments and so on. At first I thought my husband's head was going to explode as he processed all this information. He could't for the life of him get his head around the way one bit came off and another bit attached and then a car seat also attached. He was like, "we only wanted a pram"! 
So the lovely lady asked if we would like her to price up the pram/push chair/car seat/hovercraft thing and came back with just £1200. 
That's before nursery furniture, high chair, walker, playmat, swings, rockers, bouncers, bath stuff, food, clothes etc etc.

Does my bum look big in this?

This super pram was the bees knees and the lady told us how the material was made from the belly of a rare duck billed platypus (not really), and how the sides were so strong it was made from crash proof, drop proof, bullet proof, bomb proof, and just about anything proof material. (not really again - but almost) 
Now I know that technology has moved forward since we were kids and our parents were kids, but I wonder, how did they cope without such luxuries? How did they manage without this fancy stuff? I would guess it is because it isn't necessary. What will we have next? ipads built into the prams so they can watch 'Three men and a baby'?

After a good laugh watching my husband look a total prat making a hash of getting into a harness we 'scarpered' to Mothercare! 

Where's Wally?

Mothercare (whilst less expensive) still showed signs that this baby (as cherished as he or she is going to be) is going to cost a BLOODY FORTUNE!

So after a long day shopping for baby we hit costa to discuss what on earth we are going to do. We threw around many ideas of how to raise the extra cash to be able to buy all this stuff. Ideas such as; Bank Of 'Mum & Dad', downsize, sell all my heels (his daft idea), stop him going to the pub on 'his-day' (my daft idea), being the next Bonnie & Clyde (actually a good one but we haven't got the balls - well I haven't) 

And then it hit us - eBay!!! We will find all of these wonderful items that others have spent thousands on and pick them up for less. Ding!
I understand that nobody wants to buy second hand stuff for their baby but really, who will know? I'm not talking potty's here, but pram's and nursery furniture that has hardly been used and as good as new. It will save a fortune and then we can sell it on as second hand (JOKE)

Thank you eBay you have saved me from selling my heels. And the answer to my initial post topic question; Mamas & Papas baby or eBaby baby?:

I guess it's going to be both!

My only slight worry is that one day i'll be strutting into Costa with my 6 inch heels, pushing my 'all singing-all dancing pushchair/pram/car seat/hovercraft super thingy' (thinking i'm the coolest cat in there); only for some mother in the queue to shout "'ere' that was my pram and I sold it on eBay for £300".

"And the cheeky cow still asked for a discount"

Wednesday, 3 June 2015

WEEK 13 - A new kind of maternity fashion? Or In denial?

So, I'm hardly two yards over the start line and already my beloved wardrobe is fast becoming redundant. A no-go area. Waste land! 
When I open the doors and sift through my once cherished but now almost useless clobber, desperately looking for something to wear, I find myself trying to be 'creative'. 

It's a sad, sad sight when those Argos pine doors creak open. The lines of half-ironed clothes look like the unwanted sale rack at Primarni. I feel like they are staring back at me with their two fingers up laughing right in my bloated face. They look disgruntled as if they are thinking:- where was our say in this? You never asked us if it was ok to get knocked up, so don't come crying to us when WE DON'T FIT YOU ANYMORE!!! 
Perhaps they aren't really thinking that?! It will be just my imagination I'm sure. As if clothes would think like that. Im sure they are thinking nice things...??? 

Like some wannabe fashion designer I am trying to think outside the box! Do my jean buttons really need to meet? A belt with a huge buckle would look cool and bridge the gap? Or maybe even a scarf around my midriff, or even a massive clock hanging from my neck? - why not? Flavour Flav can get away with it so why not me? Then I have to remind myself that I am not a superstar rapper. 

Can you imagine?

I went to meet my friend last weekend for a COFFEE!!!!! Thinking about it, that could have been the first time we have ever had such civilised drinks together? We actually got know each other all over again!  
I got dressed up for the occasion like it was my big night out for the month. Fake tan was duly applied (This is ok when pregnant I have checked) - Infact when the midwife asked - "any questions for me?" - I do believe that was my first one? 
Closely followed by... "and hair dye?" (This isn't recommended until after 12 weeks, which is good I am now over that period, because my roots are so bad it looks like a huge bird of prey has shit on my head) I met my friend. She kindly complimented me on my appearance and that I was apparently 'blossoming' - but little did she, or anyone else in Costa know, that the maxi dress I wore beneath my jacket was indeed entirely open at the back. Yes that's correct, I was literally hanging together with bits of string! 

It was without doubt the comfiest I have ever been outdoors. It was like being out in my onesie all day! I would recommend it to any soon-to-be mum, although Im well aware that I will shortly have to give in to the inevitable, as my belly continues to expand beyond the point of no return, and I find myself succumbing to the lure of MATERNITY WEAR!!  

Out of sight....out of mind!!!

The one thing I refuse to stop wearing are my heels. I am sure there are people reading this who have either already had a baby or are further gone than me, who will be thinking yeah, yeah, you just wait! 
But my calves are like elephants, built from years and years of training shoe, and flat shoe avoidance (obviously elephants don't wear shoes at all, but you get my meaning). 
My husband was mortified when I packed a case full of heels when we went snowboarding. He may have found that ridiculous when the snow was 6 foot deep, but little does he know, if I could have got away with wearing them on the snowboard I would have! 
I am going to have to be very careful when laid on the hospital bed in all my glory that I don't poke the midwives eyes out with my stilettos. That would be awful! 

When my feet swell up there is always WD40, which apparently fixes anything that won't budge. I'm sure with some lubricant and a bit of gentle persuasion ill get those heels over my ever expanding duck feet (as my husband calls them) GIT!  

In all honesty I am doing nothing to assist my crusade to wear my existing wardrobe for as long as possible. Yes I am eating lots of salad and good stuff, but my oh my, how my baby luuuurrrvvveeesss chocolate and cakes! I can't believe how much baby loves choccy. I am not the type of mum to not listen to my baby's growing needs and so....

Me captured stuffing my face...well if it makes baby happy!!

Regardless of the wardrobe (and my expanding situation), I am going to continue to enjoy my new 'eating for two' diet and my first pregnancy. What will be will be, and as long as I am expanding then there is a healthy baby on board. 

I'd take that over a little black dress anyday!